Wednesday, July 30, 2008

BUSINESS IN FRONT, PARTY IN THE BACK

It is apparently a slow news day in Decatur. The front page story on our morning's paper is titled "Business in front...Party in the Back." Yes, that's right....they devoted front page space in the paper (and continued the article onto page 2) to write about mullets. If you are having a really slow day, you can read the article at:


But, if you'd rather be entertained, then keep reading. In honor of the mullet article, I borrowed some material from a website dedicated to highlighting those individuals sporting the mullet-do (no, I am not kidding.) All of the following pictures are from mulletjunky.com. I used some of the commentary they had with the pictures, in addition to providing some of my own.

A MULLET SAMPLING


FATHER-SON MULLETUDE
When the kid grows up, he will be asked, "So, why did you have your hair like that?" He will answer, "I learned it from watching YOU!!!'(In the same tone as the drug commercial) Indeed, Dad is to blame. Two generations of mulls, sitting on a curb....Doesn't get much better.



TWO-TONE WAREHOUSE MULL Warehouses are a common source of employment for mullets. They can dress how they want, wear their hair how they want and get very angry if they want. It's a good place to let out the mulletude (i.e. punch a random box or kick a pallet). They can yell out loud and either not be heard or not really noticed. The 2 tone is an example of a seasoned, experimental mullet. Going beyond the standard mullet by adding style and flava.


TRUE LUV 4-EVER MULLET
Gene and Connie looked for a way to combine their two great loves - - hard liquor and each other. By goodness, they found it.


BEACH MULLET
Girl - 'Ahhh...isnt this beautiful? Hey, think they're any fish in this water honey?'
Randy - 'Ahh hell, I don't know...why you always asking me all these damn questions....I'm gonna go grab a cold one...you want one?'
Girl - 'Sure....this is the best honeymoon. Hey, grab my cigs while yer over there.'


HULLIDAYS
Happy Hullidays Mulletjunkies!
If you were a good boy or girl this year, click my red bow. If you were naughty, click the blue one.



YOU GO GIRL MULLET

Hell Ya!!! That's what i'm talk in' about. word. yow. we gonna wear our mullets any way we wants. and dare aint nuthin u gonna do 'bout it . mmmm hmmm. sheeeiiiiiit



SCHOOL DAYS MULLET

Momma: Donnie! Boy, you are gonna miss yer bus if you don't get yer butt outta this trailer and down to the end of the dirt road!
Donnie: Just another minute, Momma. I ain't got my bangs curled just like I want 'em and today's school pictures.
Momma: Here comes the bus, Donnie! Git your butt gone right now!
Donnie: Guess I don't have time to brush my teeth (again.)



STREET MULLDELMullet- Honey, look there's a guy drawing people, should I have him draw me?
Wife of Mullet- Sure, see if he can really capture the essence of your mullet meeting your shoulder/back hair.
Mullet- O.K.!, golly, I sure am glad I wore my tank top!
Wife of Mullet- You know, If this drawing comes out good we can hang it over the mantle next to the singing fish.




I AM THE MULL Every once in while a truly great mull comes along like this. It IS a 'Diamond in the ruff', every detail is completely intentional and accounted for. Look at the aero-dynamacy, the colors, the length of this mull. A true craftsman. Now check out the accessories; The 44oz. Big Gulp, the wife beater, the beaded necklace, the aviator sunglasses and finally the baseball hat attached to the belt loop of faded denim shorts. The attitude, the confidence in his stride are also key, undeniable elements that make this mull stand above the rest. 'I - AM - THE - MAN' emanates from within and is projected to all.




MULLET HIGH
I bet the parking lot at this high school was full of bitchin' Camaros.




OCTOMULLETA truly rare subspecies of mullet, the Octomullet briefly surfaces from the ocean to attend a monster truck show on land. In general, the Octomullet is a fairly timid and harmless creature. However, if crossed or when sensing danger, the Octomullet can be DEADLY. The mullet has mutated throughout time to actually form sharp tenticles which are poisoness and deadly. They are extremely loyal and will defend his cousins, The Monster Truck Mullet and the No Fear Bad/Boy Club Mullet untill the end.



MATRIMULNY
Priest: "Randall Mull, Do you take Libby-May to be your, bla bla bla bla bla.....?"
Randall Mull: "Hell ya!"
Priest: "Libby-May, Do you take Randall Mull to be your, bla bla bla bla bla.....?"
Libby May: "Shoot, I guess I do, yeah."
Priest: "With the power vested in me and state of Kentucky, I now pronounce you Mull and wife! Libby, You may kiss the Mullestache."
Libby: "Awww heck, come 'er punkin."
....and they lived happily ever after.(in Blue Skies Trailer Park)

3 comments:

papadale said...

If you haven't seen them, we have pictures from the 80's of a yung Mulliteer named Chris.

Karen R said...

I saw this article on-line yesterday too--but I didn't know that was the original title of the article. LOL. That makes it even better...or is it worse?

kristin said...

I could add some pictures to that site. Kraig had a half mullet;mom even gave him a home perm so the back would be curly. And then there's some pictures of Dan from his early 20's with a mullet. I told him it's a good thing I didn't know him back then-I wouldn't have given him a second look with all that hair. Yes, imagine Dan with hair!