IF YOU DON'T SEND THIS ON TO TEN PEOPLE, YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE JESUS!!

OK - I just have to go on the record here as saying, "PEOPLE!! USE YOUR HEADS!"

I can not believe the number of email forwards I get every day. I will occassionally forward an email to a select few people - - those who I think will find something especially amusing or pertinent - - but I have never forwarded ANYTHING to everyone in my email address book. Most of my forwarded emails are carefully screened to ensure that anyone who I think will find something offensive or not applicable to them does not get on the "send to" list. There are things I have snickered at and sent on to two or three friends that I would never dream of sending to my mother. But I must say, you will not open your inbox and find 13 messages from me that have been forwarded to you.

There are two categories of email forwards that especially set me off. Now keep in mind, I am not talking email spam here. . .and yes, I get plenty of those with people promising me to send me a fortune from a Nigerian bank account or offering me cheap Viagra. No, I am talking about email forward that people I actually know send on to me.

The first kind is the ones where someone actually believes that they are going to get something if they forward that email to a certain number of people. WAKE UP PEOPLE!! There is no way to track that stuff! Do you really think Bill Gates is going to send you a few thousand dollars for bothering the people on your email list with a stupid forward? Get a clue! TGI Fridays and Applebee's are not chomping at the bit to send you a gift card. There is no school project where you have to add your name to a list and then forward it to everyone you know! No one is going to send you a free computer! Quit sending the one to me about how something funny will pop up on your screen in two minutes if you send this to seven people.....c'mon, we're smarter than this, right?

The other kind of email forward that really gets to me are the ones that promise eternal damnation if I don't forward on to everyone I know how much I really love Jesus. I am a Christian. I go to church. I teach Sunday School. I try my best to raise my kids to be good people and live a life that is pleasing to God. However, I don't believe for a minute that God is going to send me to hell if I don't bother everyone I know with some sappy email about how someone read this email and prayed this prayer and three minutes later their dad came home from the war. . .complete with cartoon angels and a polyphonic version of Amazing Grace playing in the background. Call me crazy, but I think God speaks to me in other ways besides "Fwd. Fwd. Fwd. Fwd. Jesus says you better read this!!"