Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Welcome to Wal-Mart!

Why is it that everytime I go to Wal-Mart, I manage to pick a bum cart? As I grab a cart when I go into the store, my mind keeps repeating, "please don't let this one be crappy, please don't let this one be crappy. . ." Since the floor is rough in the entryway to the store, I don't usually realize how bad the cart is until I have pushed it to almost the checkout lanes, at which point I usually just say forget it, and keep pushing my gimpy cart. I sometimes contemplate going back and getting a different cart, but then I convince myself that I may actually end up with one worse than I already have. Plus, I often have my three year old with me, and it is hassle enough to get her into the seat without having to switch to a different buggy.

Through my careful observation, I have discovered there are three basic types of bum carts that you can have when Wal-Mart shopping.

The first kind is like the one I got today. I got a little ways into the store and realized I had a right turner. You know what I mean - - -if the store was set up like a racetrack, I would have done just fine. As it was, the cart wanted to right turn all the way through the store. I had to fight the cart the entire time by overcorrecting to the left to keep from smashing into everything. Luckily, today was a relatively light Wal-Mart run. . .no dog food or cases of pop. . .and no three year old in the seat. You see, the heavier the cart gets, the more difficult it becomes to keep overcorrecting it. When I get a right turner, (or a left turner, for that matter) I tell myself that I am getting an excellent workout for my arms. Who needs the gym when you have a Wal-Mart cart?

The second type of bum cart is the skidder. At times, the problem is that one of the wheels has something jammed in it, or simply just refuses to turn. Or sometimes, it will turn for a little bit, then all of a sudden, jam up and skid down the aisle for awhile. You have got to really put some muscle into it when that happens (especially if the cart contains the aforementioned dog food and cases of pop, or a three-year old, of course.)

The other type of bum cart is the squealer. This cart is the one that may or may not have one of the previously mentioned maladies. Sometimes, its only problem is that it is a noise-maker; other times, you not only have the noise, but you also get the joy of having it be a right or left turner or a skidder. This cart is the one where you experiment by trying to slow down or speed up as you push to see if it will quiet the screeching wheels, but nothing usually makes for any dramatic improvement. The squealer cart is the one that everyone feels the need to joke with you, "guess they can hear you a-comin', can't they?" Ha, ha....that one never gets old. The squealer cart is the Wal-Mart equivilant of nails on a blackboard.

I must admit - on the rare occasion that I actually do score a decent cart, I do a silent little victory dance in my head. It's the little things in life, right?


Julianne said...

I guess great minds really do think alike.

kristin said...

I think I'm getting all the same carts you've used. That happens to me all the time!

marnini said...

Funny-I just had a squealer last week while grocery shopping. Initially I thought it wouldn't be too bad but by the time I hit the end of the first aisle I was squeaking up a storm. Some customers looked at me in remorse and felt my pain while others looked at me in disgust like I ruined their day out. I kept my head low and avoided eye contact at all costs.

Becky said...

You all DO know what I'm talking about! I think I would be inclined to stay longer and spend more money if I didn't have to push a crappy cart.

Skippy said...

That was a post of pure genius. All very true, very valid points. I recently covered the hazards of Cart Jackers. Yours made for a rather inspiring read.

Love the blog. Nice work, I must say.