SILLY FACE

The girls and I have reached an agreement when it comes to taking pictures: they will let me take a few of them in my staged, preserve-this-moment-for-prosperity poses, on the condition that when I am done subjecting them to countless rounds of "smile!" and "get closer!" and "stand up straight!" and "quit picking your nose!", I will allow them to do a silly face. The silly face picture is their payoff for cheesing for me as requested.

Vacation pictures were no exception. I finally had a chance to go through our vacation pictures last night and download them from the camera, and to do some cropping and correcting. What I discovered is that I have a plethora of pictures of my children making their silly faces - - - and what better place to share them than on my blog?

Even mom and and dad couldn't resist . . . .

I COME BEARING GIFTS

I have discovered a slightly passive-aggressive side to myself that I never knew existed. What has brought on this behavior, you might ask? It has to do with seven year olds….more specifically, the parents of seven year olds.

First grade seems to be the age of the whole class birthday party. Maggie has received at least eight or nine invitations to birthday parties this year that have involved her entire class. She herself had a whole class birthday party at McDonald’s back in November. However, the one caveat I had when she requested a whole class party was that I was not going to allow her fellow classmates to come bearing gifts. If she wanted a party, it was going to be a “let’s get together and have fun” celebration, not a “let’s get together and bring the birthday girl a whole bunch of crap she doesn’t need” celebration. I wanted the focus to be on the kids playing and having fun - - not on sitting around and watching Maggie open presents.

I explained to Maggie that I didn’t want the other kids in her class to feel an obligation to bring a present, as though that was their admission ticket to get into the party. I explained that I didn’t want the kids to feel that had to spend money in order to celebrate her birthday with her. She seemed to understand this concept and be very much ok with it. I told Chris that I hoped that other parents would get her invitation that read in bold letters, “NO GIFTS PLEASE” and be inclined to follow suit. If nothing else, I was hoping that I could shame them into doing the same for their kids birthday parties. I was throwing down the birthday party gauntlet.

I suppose I highly overestimated the amount of shame felt by others, because only one other family has followed suit with my “NO GIFTS PLEASE” example. Maggie received an invitation to a birthday party this coming Saturday for a boy in her class that is being held at the Children’s Museum. Of course, I was disappointed when I saw that it failed to include “NO GIFTS PLEASE.” It’s not the money - - really…though going to eight or nine birthday parties for classmates at $10 a pop for a gift can indeed add up. (She actually hasn’t attended all of them due to other obligations….but still.)

Now I must explain where the passive-aggressive part comes in to this scenario. My way of making up for being required to purchase my kid's admission to the party is by purchasing a birthday gift that the kid will absolutely love and the parents will hate. For the last party Maggie went to, I bought the birthday girl Play-Doh, fingernail polish, and a Bratz lipstick. For this party, I bought the birthday boy a container of colored slime and an egg that you put in water and when it dissolves, there are tiny little bones of a dinosaur that you have to put together to make a 3-D model. I really thought of doing worse - - I scanned the arts and crafts aisle for paints, but ultimately decided to skip it since I would have to buy paint and paper, which would have ended up getting to be more than I wanted to spend.

I know, I know…I am so immature, right? My hope is that through my clever use of creative birthday gift selection, I can allow these parents to see the error of their ways and encourage them to include those three all-important words on their kid’s next birthday announcement, “NO GIFTS PLEASE!”

ROUND 'EM UP!

After work yesterday, we pulled into Kroger to pick up a few things before heading home. As we got out of our car, a lady in a large, fancy SUV was getting into her car in the prime real estate section of the parking lot (front and center, right next to the handicapped spots.) It took me only a moment to notice that this woman had committed one of my cardinal pet peeve sins - - she had left her cart sitting in the handicapped spot instead of putting it back.

Everyone has something that irks them that really isn’t big in the grand scheme of things. What’s yours? One of my biggees is people who don’t put their cart back in the cart corral when they are done shopping. It especially bothers me when they leave it in a handicapped spot because that often means that a handicapped person wouldn’t even be able to use the spot. As if being so lazy that they can’t walk another twenty feet to put their cart in the collection area isn’t bad enough, they now have possibly created an undue hardship for someone else.

This act of indolence is one that cuts across race and social class. Cart-Return Laziness can be seen from someone driving a late 70s beater just as frequently as from a person who is driving a $60,000 Mercedes. What I can’t figure out is this - - if you have just walked across all Hell and Creation at Super Wal-Mart, what is a few more feet just to put your cart away? And you’d better believe that these folks would be the first to pitch a fit if they came out from the store to find that their car had gotten dinged by an unreturned shopping cart. And yet. . . it continues.

I think this would be a great test for a future employee - - because to me, if you are too slothful to return your cart, I am sure your work performance won’t be much different.

So, for anyone reading this who happens to be a non-cart returner….don’t think that no one notices when you so subtly glance around before ditching your cart right beside the car parked next to yours. I am on to you and your lazy ways. Oh yes I am.

That being said - - what are YOUR petty little gripes? You know, those things that aren’t all that big, but still drive you nuts? I want to hear from you!

AN UNLIKELY REQUEST

Tonight after work, Maggie, Aleita and I hopped in the car to take a few things over to our friends, the Ritters. As we were driving, Maggie commented, "Tom and Diana have three sons. You don't have any sons, Mommy. Just daughters."

"That's right," I answered.

She thought for a moment and then said, "I wish I had a baby brother. She then excitedly added, "Hey! I know! I am going to ask Santa Claus for a baby brother this Christmas!" She then queried, "Hey Aleita! What are you going to ask for for Christmas? A baby brother too?"

Aleita calmly replied, "No. I am going to ask Santa Claus for a Superman costume."

And that, friends, is the difference between my two children. (I also commented to my children that Aleita probably had a far better chance of receiving her request.)

BIG NEWS FOR THE LITTLE TOWN

Big things are happening in little Blue Mound. My little town of only 1,200 people is all abuzz with today's going on. Only two blocks from my house, they are filming a scene in a major motion picture. This may be even more talked about than the earthquake that had us all shaking a few weeks ago at 4:30AM.

Yes, a stone's throw away from my home this evening is Matt Damon, who is starring in the upcoming movie, The Informant. This movie is based on the actual story of Mark Whitacre, a former ADM executive turned informant for the FBI. Whitacre and several other ADM execs were involved in a price-fixing scheme that ultimately resulted in the biggest anti-trust case for the FBI in history, with ADM repaying more than $400 million in fines and to plaintiffs and customers. At first thought a hero, it later became known that Whitacre himself was also involved in an embezzlement scheme in which he took almost $9 million, mostly during the time he was working with the FBI. Whitacre ultimately spent 8 1/2 years in federal prison for price-fixing, tax fraud, and tax evasion.

Quite a bit of the filming is taking place in Decatur because of the fact that the storyline centers around ADM (headquartered in Decatur) and where most of the the real-life story actually took place. I have heard that the movie folks are using the inside of our local P & G Quikstop because of its LACK of updating - - it apparently still closely resembles the time frame they are looking for. (So take THAT Casey's, with your ultra-modern cappuccino machine!)

I have tried to think of acceptable reasons that would make it necessary for me to go walk by the P & G so I could claim that I actually had a purpose for being out and about near the action, instead of just trying to do some celebrity gawking. Alas, no good reasons have come to mind, so here I sit at my computer, writing about Matt Damon instead of gazing at him through the gas station window.

ON THE ROAD (AGAIN)

I got to sleep in my bed two nights before heading out again. This week, I am in St. Louis for a national conference for work. I will be here until Thursday. The week before we left on vacation, I was out of town for work for three days. I got to sleep in my bed one night, then we left on vacation. So, in a seventeen day stretch, I am going to have spent nights in my bed at home for only three of those days.

I miss my family, to be sure. Right now - - selfishly, I miss my bed.

THAT IS JUST WRONG!

There are some things in life that when you see them, you say to yourself, "Now that is just wrong." Then, there are some things in life, that when you see them, they are SO wrong they you feel compelled to point it out to someone else. I had just such a moment on our vacation.

As Chris, the kids, and I were heading in from the beach one afternoon, we stopped at the area that has the hose to wash the sand off before you head back to your condo. We had just finished and were gathering up our things when another couple, apparently also staying in our condo's complex, walked by on their way out to walk the beach. The couple, in the 60s, walked arm in arm down the wooden walkway leading out to the beach. The woman had on a simple black swimsuit and wore a typical beach hat to shield her face from the sun. The guy, however, was the one that earned my "that's so wrong" vote for the day. He wore a Speedo and cowboy hat, carried a beer in one hand, and held a big cigar in his mouth.

I couldn't help myself. It was like an accident on the side of the road - - you know you shouldn't look, but you just can't help yourself. As soon as he and his wife walked past us, I smacked Chris and made sure he could witness that guy in all his glory as well. I said to Chris, " I wish I could somehow get a picture of that....we shouldn't be the only ones witness to this!!" to which of course, he just rolled his eyes at me.

He did, however, redeem himself. After about an hour, after we had gone inside and showered and were getting ready to go out for supper, I was sitting on the couch braiding Aleita's hair. Chris stuck his head in the sliding glass door from the patio where he had been sitting reading his book. "I know I'll regret this," he said, "but that guy is laying down at the pool if you want a picture."

I leapt up and left Aleita's hair half braided and ran for my camera. I only managed a picture with him laying on his stomach....sorry that you won't get to enjoy the full frontal as we did, but I am sure you will get the idea. I know, I know....THAT IS SO WRONG.

HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGITY JIG

We decided to drive straight through instead of stopping yesterday. We got home from Charleston about 12:30AM. Going on vacation is wonderful, but there is very little that compares to the feeling of sleeping in your own bed after several nights away.

PARTING SHOT

Thought I would send a farewell picture.....we are heading for home this morning and should be back Saturday. Here is a picture of this morning's sunrise from our balcony.

JUST (ANOTHER) DAY AT THE BEACH

I know I am not going to be ready to come home on Friday. There are balcony doors off the living room and our bedroom - - we have been sleeping with the door open at night because it has been so temperate and because it is so peaceful and soothing to hear the waves as we fall asleep - - from the deck, you could literally throw a rock and land it in the ocean.

Today was absolutely wonderful. The kids slept until about 8:30AM, then after breakfast, we headed down to the beach. We walked up and down the beach, combing for shells, then Chris and I sat in our beach chairs and read while the kids played in the sand and splashed in the water. We had lunch sitting on our deck that overlooks the ocean, then spent the afternoon on the beach in the same manner we had spent the morning. Chris and I were much more dilligent in our sunscreen application today - we are still pink from Monday, but added no new toasting to our bodies.

We got cleaned up about 5PM, then headed to a place called "Off the Hook" for dinner. They had a Wednesday night special of all-you-can-eat crablegs (Chris and I pigged out a little bit!) Our kids are very good eaters and always open to trying new things. Maggie has had crablegs before and loves them, so she was very excited to be sharing them with us. Before they arrived, Aleita told us she wanted some too. Once the waitress set the plate in front of me, Aleita took one look at them and said, "no thank you!" But, as she watched Chris, Maggie, and I devour them, she was too intrigued to pass them up. Soon, all four of us were eating crablegs as fast as Chris and I could crack them open. We filled up two good sized buckets with discarded crab shells before we threw in the proverbial towel.

I just got done a little bit ago reading Aleita her bedtime story and putting her to bed. She asked me to lay with her for a little bit -- I laid down with her, and in less than two minutes, she let out a deep sigh and went right to sleep. Tomorrow, the weather is supposed to be sunny and warm, so I am looking forward to spending our last full day at the beach again. I am so glad we decided to get away - - this trip has been wonderful.