I COME BEARING GIFTS

I have discovered a slightly passive-aggressive side to myself that I never knew existed. What has brought on this behavior, you might ask? It has to do with seven year olds….more specifically, the parents of seven year olds.

First grade seems to be the age of the whole class birthday party. Maggie has received at least eight or nine invitations to birthday parties this year that have involved her entire class. She herself had a whole class birthday party at McDonald’s back in November. However, the one caveat I had when she requested a whole class party was that I was not going to allow her fellow classmates to come bearing gifts. If she wanted a party, it was going to be a “let’s get together and have fun” celebration, not a “let’s get together and bring the birthday girl a whole bunch of crap she doesn’t need” celebration. I wanted the focus to be on the kids playing and having fun - - not on sitting around and watching Maggie open presents.

I explained to Maggie that I didn’t want the other kids in her class to feel an obligation to bring a present, as though that was their admission ticket to get into the party. I explained that I didn’t want the kids to feel that had to spend money in order to celebrate her birthday with her. She seemed to understand this concept and be very much ok with it. I told Chris that I hoped that other parents would get her invitation that read in bold letters, “NO GIFTS PLEASE” and be inclined to follow suit. If nothing else, I was hoping that I could shame them into doing the same for their kids birthday parties. I was throwing down the birthday party gauntlet.

I suppose I highly overestimated the amount of shame felt by others, because only one other family has followed suit with my “NO GIFTS PLEASE” example. Maggie received an invitation to a birthday party this coming Saturday for a boy in her class that is being held at the Children’s Museum. Of course, I was disappointed when I saw that it failed to include “NO GIFTS PLEASE.” It’s not the money - - really…though going to eight or nine birthday parties for classmates at $10 a pop for a gift can indeed add up. (She actually hasn’t attended all of them due to other obligations….but still.)

Now I must explain where the passive-aggressive part comes in to this scenario. My way of making up for being required to purchase my kid's admission to the party is by purchasing a birthday gift that the kid will absolutely love and the parents will hate. For the last party Maggie went to, I bought the birthday girl Play-Doh, fingernail polish, and a Bratz lipstick. For this party, I bought the birthday boy a container of colored slime and an egg that you put in water and when it dissolves, there are tiny little bones of a dinosaur that you have to put together to make a 3-D model. I really thought of doing worse - - I scanned the arts and crafts aisle for paints, but ultimately decided to skip it since I would have to buy paint and paper, which would have ended up getting to be more than I wanted to spend.

I know, I know…I am so immature, right? My hope is that through my clever use of creative birthday gift selection, I can allow these parents to see the error of their ways and encourage them to include those three all-important words on their kid’s next birthday announcement, “NO GIFTS PLEASE!”