BEAUTY EMERGENCY

A few days ago, I was in the bathroom fixing Aleita’s hair in the morning before school. She had been in her bedroom playing with her Tinkerbell cellphone before I called her to get her hair done. She brought her phone along with her into the bathroom and played with it while I began combing through her hair.

With Aleita’s hair, she has two usual styles – braids or afro-puffs. Each has its unique advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantage to braids is that they take a lot longer to put them in and take them out, thus requiring more time to sit still. The advantage to braids is that in the morning, they are much faster than puffs because all we have to do is put hair oil between the rows. The advantage to afro-puffs is that they are much quicker to put in and take out than braids, but every morning, I take each of them out of the band (usually 2 or 4 puffs) and comb through them and oil her scalp, then put the puff back in. I will add here that two things Aleita hates are standing still and having her hair combed.

ALEITA IN BRAIDS

ALEITA IN AFRO-PUFFS

Given, the word “patience” is not often uttered in the same sentence as “Aleita,” and this morning was no exception. Her hair was in puffs, and she was in no mood to stand still and have her hair combed. She continued to play with her Tinkerbell phone as I did her hair, sparing no opportunity to convey her impatience with the beautification process. After an unfortunate tough hair snag, she said, “I’m calling 9-1-1 on you!”

The following dialogue took place on her Tinkerbell phone (keep in mind that every time she pushes a button on the phone, Tinkerbell responds with a few different messages):

Aleita: Hello, 9-1-1?

Tinkerbell: What beautiful wings you have!

Aleita: Yes, I would like to report something bad.

Tinkerbell: Do you want to come fly with me?

Aleita: This woman here keeps pulling my hair. I need you to come and arrest her.

Tinkerbell: You would make such a good fairy!

Aleita: She won’t let me go eat breakfast. She just keeps making me stand here.

Tinkerbell: What beautiful wings you have!

Aleita: She just pulled my hair again.

Tinkerbell: You would make such a good fairy!

Aleita: OK – I’ll tell her. Mommy, they said you need to stop or they’ll come arrest you.

We did manage to finish up her ‘do, get breakfast, and get on with the day. The police never did show up to haul me in my “crimes.” Next time, I may not be so lucky. If I get hooked up for excessive hair pulling, starving my children, and inciting extreme boredom, I hope one of you will come bail me out.