SELLING ICE TO AN ESKIMO

It is a good thing that our seven year old, Maggie, does not have credit card access. If she did, I have the feeling that there would be an endless stream of deliveries to our house from things she ordered from watching infomercials. Maggie will often sit and watch T.V. half interested while playing with her dolls or Barbies, but if an infomercials comes on the screen, it captures her immediate attention. It is also not uncommon to come downstairs to check on her and find her watching one of those half hour long sales pitches that has come on after the movie she was watching on T.V. ended.

Not only does she get hooked into them, but she can spout the virtues of each product practically verbatim after seeing them advertised on T.V. Not too long ago, she came upstairs expounding on the merits of a "revolutionary" (she actually used that word) new weight control product that she had seen. She literally said to me, "Mommy - you could be in the shape of your life!" She began explaining that this weight loss product will "melt away years of unsightly fat." I said to her, "Maggie - - do you think I really need to lose weight? Do I seem fat to you?" She thought for a moment, and then replied, "they said this product is for everyone, Mommy. But no, I don't think you're fat."

Maggie has also frequently mentioned a product called "Aqua Globes." At least once a week when I am out in the yard watering flowers, she will say to me, "Mommy - - you could make your life easier if you ordered those Aqua Globes. It does the work for you!" I have tried to explain that since most of my flowers in the yard aren't in pots, it wouldn't really work very well, plus, with all the plants we have in the yard, we would spend a fortune buying them. She doesn't really get that part of it. Last week, she and I were in Wal-Mart in the lawn and garden section when I was looking for some Round Up. She nearly went bananas as she spotted the Aqua Globes conveniently located right across the aisle from the weed killer. She picked them up and studied them carefully and then showed them to me. "These are the Aqua Globes," she said excitedly, "These are the ones I told you about from T.V.! Can we get some, please? Please?" I told her no, thank you, we would not be taking home any Aqua Globes. She made a face and looking rather defeated, put them back on the shelf.

One other infomercial we have seen lately is for this stuff called "Mighty Putty." Supposedly, it will instantly seal leaks, as well as fill surface cracks and holes. The commercial even boasts that it can hold up to 350 pounds. (We actually saw the Mighty Putty ad one night as we were watching a show together.) I knew it was coming - - I just knew it - - and she didn't disappoint. No sooner had the commercial gone off then Maggie said, "you should buy some of that." "Why?" I asked her. She said, "it just looks like good stuff to have around."

So all you infomercial makers out there - - take note: Your marketing is super effective, albeit, you may wish you appealed to a demographic who had more slightly more disposable income than what is sitting in their piggy bank on the top of their dresser. Perhaps when she gets a little older and has to write a paper about someone she admires, Maggie will choose Billy Mays. You may think you don't know who that is, but I am sure you do. He is the guy who hawks OxyClean and Orange Glow and countless other things where he spends the entire commercial shouting at you the dozens of uses for this fabulous product.