ENOUGH TO TRY THE PATIENCE OF SAINT. . . . (part two)

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.” - - Will Rogers

This thought continually occurs to me as a write about my youngest daughter Aleita’ s behavior. I keep getting emails and comments from several of you, letting me know how funny you think her behavior is, and that you find these stories about her really amusing. All I can say is that you think it is funny because you are not me. But I digress. For those of you who read yesterday’s entry, I imagine you are coming back today in eager anticipation of my follow up to Aleita’ s shenanigans with the babysitter. For those of you who didn’t read yesterday’s entry, you should probably start there, as today’s blog is a continuation of yesterday: http://paw-pawpatch.blogspot.com/2008/09/enough-to-try-patience-of-saint.html

OK –so even after Aleita decided to strip naked and run around the house instead of take a nap, our babysitter, Ashley, still bravely decided to come back for round two the following week. Punctual as usual, she showed up right on time at 9AM. Aleita had been properly punished for her craziness the Saturday prior, and she, Chris and I had a “come to Jesus” meeting right before we left for the game in which I hoped we instilled the fear of God into her. Apparently this child just ain’t that God-fearin’.

Chris called home just after half time to see how things were going. At that point, Ashley reported that things were going pretty well - - the only trouble being that Aleita was throwing fits when she didn’t win one of the games they were playing. I had no help for her on that one, because she does the exact same thing for us. In general, I have found that most four year olds aren’t what you would refer to as “good sports.” They don’t play a game because it is fun necessarily, they play a game because they want to be the WINNER. When they don’t win, they get very upset. I think Maggie was about six before she was able to not pout when she lost a game. Overall, if fit-throwing for losing a game was the biggest problem she had encountered, I thought we were doing pretty well. Ha. The fat lady hadn’t sung yet.

Even though we had talked AT LENGTH with Aleita that she was going to lay down and take a nap, she decided she would again forego one. The clothes did stay on, which is a bonus. Ashley said that she and Maggie played together in her room instead, which was fine because at least they weren’t causing trouble. As the afternoon went on, however, things started to erode somewhat. Maggie and Aleita convinced Ashley that we allowed them to have chips for a snack, so between the two of them, they consumed half a bag of cheesy puffs and some Doritoes as well. Aleita then took it upon herself to feed the dogs mid-afternoon. Dandy, our puppy, only gets half a scoop full of food at each feeding, but apparently she was feeling generous, so she gave him a full one. She also fed Dempsey as well. I, of course, didn’t realize this until Maggie brought it to my attention about two minutes after I fed the dogs again that afternoon.

The real kicker was the call we received about fifteen minutes before we arrived home. In an effort to get them out of the house and active, Ashley got their bubbles out and let them play out in the yard. A harmless activity, right? Well, almost. At some point, Ashley went back inside the house to get something and looked out the large picture window in the living room, just in time to see Aleita crouched behind the tree…but instead of BLOWING bubbles, she was DRINKING her bubbles. Yep – the whole container. (I would think they would taste awful too, but she seems to have an certain affinity for bathwater as well, so go figure.) Freaked out, Ashley called her mom, then called us. We assured her we were almost home and would soon be able to put the brakes on the crazy train for her.

We had reserved Ashley for another 9AM game in October, but I am going to call her and let her off the hook and I will probably just stay home with the kids. I don’t think I can stomach that feeling of dread in my stomach of wondering and worrying all day what mischief Aleita will have dreamed up in our absence. Would I come back to find the dogs shaved, or perhaps wearing my makeup? Would she decide to try to bungee jump from the porch roof? Would she take her trike out of the garage and go tooling around the town? I just couldn’t stomach the anxiety all day.

So for those of you who have already been there and done that, have a good laugh. For my friends and family who have children yet to reach this precious point in their lives, try not to chuckle too much. Your time may well be coming.

AFTERNOON COCKTAIL, ANYONE?

ENOUGH TO TRY THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT. . .

A week ago this past Saturday was the Illini home opener against EIU. Chris and I have season tickets, and have been looking forward to college football season starting up again. The game against EIU was at 11AM, and so we had our babysitter, Ashley, at our house at 9AM. Ashley is a teenager from our church, and does a good job with the kids. She has a sister who is exactly the same age as Aleita (they are only a few days apart in age, as a matter of fact), so we knew she was used to four year old behavior. It was a beautiful day - - sunny and in the high 70s - - so we had come up with activities designed to get the kids out of the house and moving - - and hopefully, to wear Aleita out.

We asked her to walk them over to the intermediate school and let them play on the playground for as long as they wanted. We put their library books in a bag and asked her to take them to library to take their books back and check out new ones. Our library also has a small kids’ play area, with a stove and grocery store, so the kids enjoy spending time doing that as well. I told her she could let them play there for as long as they wanted. I gave her money for the restaurant in town and told her to take them to lunch there. I told her to come back after lunch and lay Aleita down for a nap. I even sat down and explained to Aleita that she was going to take a nap that day and not to argue about it.

I left home that day, headed for the football game, confident that I had given my rambunctious four year old enough to do to properly wear her out so that she would A) be too busy in the morning to get into too much trouble - - and B) be worn out enough that she would lay down and take a nap in the afternoon without too much objection. Silly, naïve, foolish mommy.
We got a call near the middle of third quarter of the game from Ashley. She had laid Aleita down for her nap, but it seems Aleita had other ideas. Within minutes of putting her in bed, Aleita had stripped herself naked and was running around the house without a stitch of clothing on. Attempts by Ashley to get her redressed and in bed were futile, and so a phone call to Mommy and Daddy was finally made. Chris had Ashley put Aleita on the phone and proceeded to chew her butt for a few minutes. His words to me were, “I think if I could have reached through the phone and choked the child, I just may have done it.”

After he got off the phone with her, according to reports from Ashley, she did at least get herself dressed, but refused to take a nap. She did at least stay fully clothed, though her behavior was not much improved. Once we got home and Ashley left, Aleita’s butt got reintroduced to the wooden spoon (they hadn’t seen each other in awhile.) She also got all the toys taken from her bedroom. The worst punishment came the next day when Chris and Maggie went into Decatur after church for lunch and some shopping, and Aleita got to stay home with me and have a cheese toastie for lunch instead. As she realized they really were leaving without her, she threw herself to the floor in a sobbing heap and proclaimed, “I wish I weren’t such a bad girl!”

Me too, kiddo. Me too.

Now you would think that after a proper punishment and lots of discussion about behavior, Aleita would have learned her lesson and been better the following week when we again went to a home Illini game. Yes, you may think that, but you’d be wrong. Come back tomorrow and I will fill you in on Aleita’s behavior this past Saturday for our babysitter, the brave (and probably underpaid) Ashley.